How do you share camping expenses?

[clikrf8]

My husband and I invited my sister to go on a 2-3 week camping trip with us. We have been to many of the places she and I planned to visit but I thought it would help her readjust to being back home in the PNW. Well, I was distracted about water issues and running a small business so shined on her proposals. Besides, she yells at me and I take the path of least resistance.

Somehow, I agreed to have us pay for a site and she would pay the extra car fee. Yeah, I know, stupid. Her reasoning was that we have a full-sized truck and a pop up truck camper and she has a small SUV plus tent. Essentially, we have a similar footprint. I should have nipped that proposal right away but, I was distracted.

Toward the end of the trip, I tallied up the costs and whoa, there, we were paying 3 times as much. When I mentioned this to her, she blew up and threw money at me. She has been cold and distant since.

My take is that you pay for the site, and it is not based on the size of your RV. If a class A or a 5er or trailer can occupy a standard site (no hookups), they pay the same as anyone else. I have never really thought about the fair or unfair aspects. We are all camping no matter the size or type of RV.

Needless to say, there will be no more camping trips with her. I have learned to say no, now, more often than I used to.

What do you all do when faced with this situation?

[DarkSkySeeker]

jfkmk wrote:
you need Dr. Phil, not RV.net.

I was thinking "Dear Abby".

[K_and_I]

westernrvparkowner wrote:
The agreement prior to the trip was the sister was going to pay the extra vehicle charges and you were going to pay the site fees. How could it possibly be a surprise you paid more than she did? Only in my sweet dreams are extra vehicle charges as much as site fees. If they were, there would be another Ferrari in my garage.

So, would that be the 3rd or 4th?
🙂

[westernrvparkow]

lots2seeinmyrv wrote:
She is rude and abusive, throws money at you. Wow.

Seems like she has a history of this abusive personality.

I would have never have invited that person to camp with and to put up with that abuse for 2-3 weeks would be terrible.

Don't tell her your plans in the future.

I would also let people make their own arrangements if they want to go. She can call and reserve a Tent site and pay for it.

If meals are together, then make a list who brings what or set a menu for potluck.

No one deserves to be treated that way. And sounds like she badgered you and took advantage of your good nature.

#walkaway

Nowhere in the original post is it even implied the sister didn't pay the amount they agreed to prior to taking the trip. The poster claimed he paid three times as much as the sister. He would have paid twice as much if everyone paid an equal amount since there were two people in his party and only one sister. Since he agreed to pay the site fees and sister would pay the extra vehicle fees, he had to know he was agreeing to paying more than the sister. Furthermore, that would likely have been the case even if they were making separate arrangements since tent sites are normally less than RV sites. It appears to me the guy had bad time and wants to put the blame entirely on the sister even though he has at least some blame.
On a personal level, if I had an agreement on how expenses would be shared and at the end I was told I was taking advantage of the other party even though I paid what was agreed to, I would be like the sister. I would pull out money and tell them to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. I don't do business with people who don't honor their agreements and I sure don't need to socialize with them, family or not.

[MarkTwain]

Camping with your sister---
Your sister believes in the old the "MAS FECA" idea of life or translated " HORRAY FOR ME, I GOT, MINE, HOW ARE YOU DOING?"

[lots2seeinmyrv]

CFerguson wrote:
If someone treats me like ****, they don't see me again. Problem Solved. Life's too short....and getting shorter.

x2...even my own family members I have cut loose.

Some people are verbally and mentally abusive, no laughing matter, not to be taken lightly. It scars your soul to put up with this.

There is no compromise and no making them happy. They mostly make everyone else miserable. You could pay 100% of the costs and it would not be enough for these type of people. They also know how to manipulate and take advantage of someone's good nature. Not fun and can cause many health issues for putting up with it for decades.

No one can tell you what to do, we all have choices to make in life, and some people make bad ones on how they treat others.

[CFerguson]

If someone treats me like ****, they don't see me again. Problem Solved. Life's too short....and getting shorter.

[lots2seeinmyrv]

She is rude and abusive, throws money at you. Wow.

Seems like she has a history of this abusive personality.

I would have never have invited that person to camp with and to put up with that abuse for 2-3 weeks would be terrible.

Don't tell her your plans in the future.

I would also let people make their own arrangements if they want to go. She can call and reserve a Tent site and pay for it.

If meals are together, then make a list who brings what or set a menu for potluck.

No one deserves to be treated that way. And sounds like she badgered you and took advantage of your good nature.

#walkaway

[fj12ryder]

If someone invited me to go camping, I would never expect them to foot the bill. If we ask someone to meet us for dinner, it's all separate. Why is asking someone to do something with you mean they pay nothing? Not being made of money means that everyone helps carry the load. I don't consider it crass, or cheap. If they invite us, we pay our way, no one would expect anything different.

OTOH the OP set up the conditions before they left, so that's a bit of a different story.

[Dutch_12078]

When our two daughters go camping with us, we get adjoining sites and they share the cost of theirs. We plan activities both together and separately, and we usually pool meals. I don't think we've ever paid any attention to who pays how much.

On the other hand, when we invited my wife's sister or our then teenage granddaughter to camp with us in our RV, they were our guests and we didn't expect them to pay for anything beside their personal purchases. We were thankful when they chipped in for food or entertainment expenses or treated us to a meal out, but we didn't expect or ask for it.

[westernrvparkow]

The agreement prior to the trip was the sister was going to pay the extra vehicle charges and you were going to pay the site fees. How could it possibly be a surprise you paid more than she did? Only in my sweet dreams are extra vehicle charges as much as site fees. If they were, there would be another Ferrari in my garage.
On top of that, there are two of you and only one of her. You sleep in an RV and she sleeps in a tent. If life was fair, you would still be paying more.

[RoyB]

In my case Family comes first - The rest of it is BS for sure... Life is too short to get all up tight about a few dollars...

My grandma would take a whipping stick to both of us haha...

And we would both have to go to the back yard and get her the whipping stick... (We kids learned real quick not to pick a small skinny stick)

Just my thoughts...

Roy Ken

[SidecarFlip]

clikrf8 wrote:
My husband and I invited my sister to go on a 2-3 week camping trip with us. We have been to many of the places she and I planned to visit but I thought it would help her readjust to being back home in the PNW. Well, I was distracted about water issues and running a small business so shined on her proposals. Besides, she yells at me and I take the path of least resistance.

Somehow, I agreed to have us pay for a site and she would pay the extra car fee. Yeah, I know, stupid. Her reasoning was that we have a full-sized truck and a pop up truck camper and she has a small SUV plus tent. Essentially, we have a similar footprint. I should have nipped that proposal right away but, I was distracted.

Toward the end of the trip, I tallied up the costs and whoa, there, we were paying 3 times as much. When I mentioned this to her, she blew up and threw money at me. She has been cold and distant since.

My take is that you pay for the site, and it is not based on the size of your RV. If a class A or a 5er or trailer can occupy a standard site (no hookups), they pay the same as anyone else. I have never really thought about the fair or unfair aspects. We are all camping no matter the size or type of RV.

Needless to say, there will be no more camping trips with her. I have learned to say no, now, more often than I used to.

What do you all do when faced with this situation?

You invited her. I don't see anywhere where that means she pays anything. I find it pretty crass that you even asked her to share expenses. I'd never consider doing that but then I'm not cheap. you must be.

[mdcamping]

clikrf8 wrote:
Toward the end of the trip, I tallied up the costs and whoa, there, we were paying 3 times as much. When I mentioned this to her, she blew up and threw money at me. She has been cold and distant since.

Though I'm no Dr Phil my self, when it comes to family if it's small stuff concerning money I don't sweat it, just not worth getting into a argument over. This said we had asked my sister 3 times to come camping with us, she said yes and then backed out late all three times, so we don't ask anymore. lesson learned and no hard feelings. :C

Mike

[Crowe]

First of all I personally would like to commend you for trying to help this woman despite the fact you don't have the best relationship. However, it does appear with your list of reasons it was more of an avoidance issue at the outset than anything (understandable). At this point it's water over the dam so I'd suggest just letting it go. In the future I'd set the terms up front in order to avoid any conflict later one.

If you want to have a good relationship with this woman I might suggest family counseling. Some day you may need to rely on her. There may be underlying issues due to your relationship that have been unrealized.

To all the snarks out there-shame on you! The OP asked for help not criticism. Answer the question and leave the judgement for when you watch Dr. Phil.

[Jebby14]

a good friend of mine and his kids (like ages to mine) camp with us often. he tents I have a trailer. we usually share a site. total cost (site + the extra vehicle) divided by 2. also split groceries and fire wood. it comes out close enough that we are both happy.