Torn between full time RVing and aging parents.

[Jean_S]

We have just retired. Our house will be on the market in a few weeks and we plan to hit the road. The only real problem is my husband's mother. She is 91, in an excellent assisted living facility, and suffers from macular degeneration. Other than that, tho, she's actually healthier than my husband is. On one hand, if we don't grab the next few years for our RV dream, we may never get to do it at all. On the other hand, she is very angry at being "abandoned" and wants us to wait "until she's gone" before we sell the house and travel. We have pointed out that our son and his family are less than 3 miles away, that she does have another son she can move closer to, that we will still call regularly, that we can be on a plane back here within hours, and that my husband's health is deteriorating, but she is still upset.

How have others dealt with this?

[Ivylog]

Klueck, you never posted the rest of the story on your water leak?

[Klueck]

We have a similar problem. My Mother lives in Tampa. We went fulltime almost 3 years ago. We make the Tampa area our home base and don't go quite as far as we would like. We bought an RV lot up in the north Georgia mountains and spent 3 months there. We like to go to the Keys during the winter. We don't go too far and get back to Florida on a regular basis. It's work-able.

[Kit_Carson]

Honor thy Father and thy mother. You choose how to honor them.

[Shadow_Catcher]

I remember my wife who was in a similar situation with a mother in seriously failing health (everything that did not actually kill you) and was on dialysis three times a week... We let her chose the facility and she made friends. BUT. My wife came home after a visit and said "how can she push my buttons" and I said "she was the one who installed them". Go while you still can. If she is computer literate or it can be set up, use Skipe or Face time to "share" the experience or even take her out locally.

[Ivylog]

If he was an only child... maybe. Have you been watching the WX in other snowbird areas? You'll be spending winters in Florida anyway.:B

This map updates hourly and yesterday was the first cold day in south Florida... it go down to 50 and only got up to the low to mid 70s.
Today it's 63 at 8AM in WPB and mid to high 70s by noon with a slight breeze.:B

[qtla9111]

It's give and take. I understand she is 91, but she too has been living her life and I hope in the way she desires. You too have a life to live and the worst part would be having regrets. Why not go out for six months and make plans to fly home for a week twice during that time? The blog is a wonderful idea too, someone can read it to her if her sight is failing. Send her flowers or a gift once in awhile.

Keep her content and live your dreams.

[Jean_S]

After reading the many comments, we are going. We can't take her along, as one person suggested. We took her with us RVing a while back, before her vision issues, for a week. Nobody wants to do THAT, again!

We will call regularly, send gifts. We got her a computer with a huge screen and our son is trying to teach her about skype - which may or may not work out. We will come back occasionally. My husband has his own problems that are slowly physically disabling him. If we wait, we may never get to go.

[ronfisherman]

Go! My mother puts the guilt trip on me ever since I retired. That was 9 years ago. While I love my mother dearly. We still go. I keep having to remind her that she did similar things when she was our age. Does no good. But daily talks on the phone and cards mailed weekly help. At 94 I expect my mother to be around for many more years.

[lostmarbles]

Once again. GO!
You only lived once. If you live more later then, more power to you. I mostly agree with most on here with different suggestions. However, did she go on her RV trip (or got married, had kids, ???) when her parents whine for her to not to do those things? This happens to everyone now. I'm one of those that is still looking for those bumper stickers that say (I'm spending my children inheritance NOW!) You think my kids are happy when I said that to them? YOU HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT TO! We are adults now, not some skirt pulling kid doing what our older parents wants us to do. How many times when you did something for your parents that you really didn't need to do? (Or, found out that it was not necessary?) Boy, was I mad at my mom when things happens like that. I found her stuck on the roof one time, taking off the wind turbine covers and knock the ladder off. She said that she knew I was coming over after work so she waited several hours. I told her she was lucky and should've yelled at the neighbors to help her. She started that with me and I told her to find a friend as what if I couldn't get to her in time. Or, get a life alert system. (I was supposed to take those covers off... uh huh) She couldn't wait? They have a mind of their own, believe me.

[loulou57]

sorry double post

[loulou57]

I put this question to four seniors on our street. Each person was over 85. Three had one child and the other 4.

All said go. They said you need to live your lives. You can call every day if you choose to.

Like you said you can be on a plane if needed.

As far as the comment...How would you feel if she died while you were on the road. What could you do if she died? You being there would not change her dying.

Last year we were away and my father was rushed to the hospital. We were a 12 hour drive away from the hospital. My mother said you coming will not change things, he is not going to live another hour. She said what would you be rushing hom'7*=*.

Go on your trip. Trying to make a child or anyufeel guilty is very selfish

[Steve_S1]

Hahahaha, now that's funny 🙂 She would be fun to play lawn darts with! Lol

[WoodGlue]

Steve S wrote:
Take her with you,she's your mother after all!
How would you feel if she died while you were on the road?

Anyone else have a horrible image of Imogene Coca flash through your mind?

Hahahahahahaha!





WoodGlue

[Executive45]

My dad is 96. I do a blog. He reads it every day. Gives us a lot to talk about when I call....GO!.....Dennis

[FLman2]

GO! Life can change very fast, so go enjoy all that you can while you have the health to do. I never though I would have a stroke but it happened. I walked daily, rode my bike two times daily, active in community and ended up in the hospital for a month followed by several months of therapy. So don't let her lay a guilt trip on you.