Travelling companion

[loulou57]

Our dear friend (We will call her Ann) lost her hubby over 5 years ago. Ann has been ready for a while now to move forward and do something her husband never wanted to do....travel across Canada.
One problem...she does not want to do it alone. Ann is not looking for someone to travel with her. For company as well as being a man able to do and teach her the knowledge etc. Ann is not looking for anything more than a male traveling companion. Money is not an issue either. She is willing to cover all costs but is not wanting someone who is in it for the free ride.
We have offered to take her but she said she would feel uncomfortable rather like the odd one out. The big question is....how does she go about finding someone? Looking on a " singles" site is not what she is looking for.
Any information on how we can help her reach her dream would be appreciated. It is not something easy to accomplish.

[tpi]

Robin1953 wrote:
If I was interested in such a "Dream Trip" I would be looking for a traveling companion that has their own RV. I enjoy my independence and would be comfortable as traveling buddies in separate rigs and enjoy the companionship at the stops along the way. I personally would be opposed to traveling in a rig together as strangers. As time went on maybe things would change...maybe not. YMMV though.

Exactly. From my point of view being cooped up in a 200 sq ft RV is for people who are very comfortable with one another and quite a history already. Either she should take it slow with more or less traditional dating before the RV trip, or set it up where she has plenty of her own space around her (her own RV). My thoughts w/ YMMV disclaimer. 🙂

[Dave_H_M]

looks like Steve the Geocritter should point that rig of his north. :h

[FunnyCamper]

HOLY. Ann needs to hit some reality here. Seriously.

If she thinks a stranger she 'finds' is going to 'fulfill her travel dreams' then she is in for a rude awakening.

but honestly, it is her life. at some point your advice is either accepted or not. Let her do here thing after you had your say.

Ann is doing this all wrong. But it is her choice to do so 🙂

I know it is bothering you obviously to see her run off in this direction, but at some point you must let go. adults have the right to be stupid as another said.

[Robin1953]

If I was interested in such a "Dream Trip" I would be looking for a traveling companion that has their own RV. I enjoy my independence and would be comfortable as traveling buddies in separate rigs and enjoy the companionship at the stops along the way. I personally would be opposed to traveling in a rig together as strangers. As time went on maybe things would change...maybe not. YMMV though.

[Stars101]

D & M wrote:

Stars101 wrote:
Even competent adults are allowed to act like dumb, irresponsible teenagers again 🙂

I just wish I had the bank account back then that I have now. Now that I can afford to be a really successful dumb, irresponsible teenager, my body points out that it ain't going along with the plan. :S

That's why I think it's good that her friends are trying to steer her into a situation where she won't make a costly mistake... jumping into a Class A seems like a recipe for disaster.

[D___M]

Stars101 wrote:
Even competent adults are allowed to act like dumb, irresponsible teenagers again 🙂

I just wish I had the bank account back then that I have now. Now that I can afford to be a really successful dumb, irresponsible teenager, my body points out that it ain't going along with the plan. :S

[Stars101]

I just want to thank the OP for being such a good friend to "Ann".

You guys are really looking out for her, including removing her online "classified" post that was downright dangerous (i.e. advertising for a man with no thoughts to safety). Sounds like she was not thinking correctly and needed some tough love about how she was going about things....

It also sounds like she is just not in touch with her new, widowed reality and needs time to grieve.

Consensus:
- get a small Class B or C that she can travel in.
- join with you & your husband for some short trips
- join a camping group and become active
- take these small steps and her "Dream Trip" will most likely fall into place, and she won't be flat broke (Class A mistake).

But in the end you have to remember, "It's HER RIGHT to make stupid decisions that can A) get her physically hurt, B) ruin her financial stability and c) break her heart emotionally.... you can only advocate, plead and steer her so far. Then you just need to hug her, wish her good luck and step back. But be prepared to rush to her assistance - ONCE. If she keeps taking advantage of your good nature and love for her (by causing you to worry & lose sleep and solicit online help to make her see sense) she's not such a good friend to have.

Even competent adults are allowed to act like dumb, irresponsible teenagers again 🙂

[Deb_and_Ed_M]

Try THIS approach with Ann:

If she wants a man who likes to RV - then she needs to go where they are - namely, RV parks/rallies, etc. However (IMO) - a "quality" man will be attracted to her independence - her ability to take care of herself and her RV; a "needy" woman might be viewed in a less desirable light?? And "needy" women are often sought out by the con artists.

[DutchmenSport]

Wow! ... This thread turned REAL interesting REAL fast! It's better than Jerry Springer!

[tpi]

I agree with the B or small C comments. She can caravan on short vacations initially with RV friends who can get her started on the systems. If she is looking to meet someone who loves RV travel, what better way than to be out there doing it? Additionally she could consider reputable online dating sites (using standard precaution) and being specific about her interests. I think her need for companionship, friendship etc. and her desire for male traveler puts it in the dating realm.

[D___M]

loulou57 wrote:
One problem...she does not want to do it alone. Ann is not looking for someone to travel with her.

How does that work :H

[John_S_]

There is a guy who advertises in the back of the FMCA mag for a traveling companion. You takes your chances. I think that what you are looking for is not going to happen. She will need to find small unit and head on out and maybe meet up with others who already are on the road. I know we had a rally a long time ago now and one paddy pulled into the campground in her 40 foot coach and a H2 behind it. her husband had just died and se was on the first trip. She had lots of help but the again she was coming to a camping club they had belonged to as well for her first trip. She met a guy somewhere and he backed the coach into some stuff and he did 10K worth of damage but it is a learning experience, right. Oh she married him even after he crunched the coach.

[2012Coleman]

toedtoes wrote:
Francesca - get a grip, my comment has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do about a man expecting sex.

Nothing about this trip includes any benefit for this man to do and be all these things for her during the trip. What does he get other than "a free ride" to a destination not of his choosing during which he gets to do whatever she considers "doing his share", "training", "keeping her company"? It's not a "drive straight through" type trip that would get him to the final destination fairly quickly on a tight budget. Every stop will be based on Ann's "dream trip".

My point is that if she wants to find a traveling companion who will join her for the joy of seeing the country, then she's going to have to let go of some of her dreams and be willing to compromise on the details of the trip. Including maybe finding another woman to travel with instead of a man. And perhaps identify some areas where she will be willing to meet the companion's comfort level and ideas on how the trip would play out (such as showering, sleeping arrangements, etc.)

I totally agree, and can add that I would be suspect of any man willing to do this on the terms stated.

[rondeb]

She should buy a small RV and travel with you for a while. She can meet people at every park. Every park we have stayed for sure has lots of single men. Let her get used to traveling and meeting people then maybe she will have met some along the way or she will feel comfortable traveling alone and meet people along the way.

Having her own RV along side of yours, will give her her own privacy and somewhere to entertain the gentlemen folk she meets along the way. With her own RV she should not feel like the odd man out

[toedtoes]

Francesca - get a grip, my comment has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do about a man expecting sex.

Nothing about this trip includes any benefit for this man to do and be all these things for her during the trip. What does he get other than "a free ride" to a destination not of his choosing during which he gets to do whatever she considers "doing his share", "training", "keeping her company"? It's not a "drive straight through" type trip that would get him to the final destination fairly quickly on a tight budget. Every stop will be based on Ann's "dream trip".

My point is that if she wants to find a traveling companion who will join her for the joy of seeing the country, then she's going to have to let go of some of her dreams and be willing to compromise on the details of the trip. Including maybe finding another woman to travel with instead of a man. And perhaps identify some areas where she will be willing to meet the companion's comfort level and ideas on how the trip would play out (such as showering, sleeping arrangements, etc.)