TLDR-Brakes were so worn before repair, that I needed to readjust controller after repair. Also, was hooking weight distribution incorrectly. Also, was using wrong terminology for "riding".
OK, thanks again to the 8 people who told me not to ride my brakes. I am not being sarcastic in saying that. I truly appreciate everyone who advised me. But I think I led folks astray from the real problem by saying that.
I wish I had not said that in this thread, as it was really a distraction. Turns out, I don't really ride my brakes. Again, I think I was using the wrong terminology, more on that later...
First, my friend who was a brake mechanic came over, tore down my brake job, FOUND NOTHING that was not right. This is not surprising, I have done many brake jobs before. Also- the calipers were not sticking at all.
Next, we went to take it for a ride.
Here is what we found out.
I was not using the terminology correctly. He noticed -I DO NOT RIDE my brakes, but I brake more than I should. That is, I dont have one foot on my brakes and one foot on the gas, which he explained as riding the brakes. Instead, I brake often, particularly because of nervousness while hauling. But as he said, this is not RIDING. I Seriously APOLOGIZE to all those that I misled with that terminology.I guess I did not really know what that all meant. (Although I did state that was unlikely the issue, and I do appreciate the insight from all into this.)
Recall I added a sway bar. This was because I was getting so much sway when large trucks, and campers passed me. This also made me brake a lot to slow down. I described this as riding, but it wasn't really. Moving on.
When I hooked up the camper, he realized I was not hooking the weight distribution bar correctly. Turns out, when I bought the camper, the person who showed me how to hook it up did not know what he was doing, and I was copying that. I was not raising the camper/vehicle up to get the chains taut. This means I was getting no advantage from the weight distribution hitch. (Which helped with my sway/nervousness/desire for sway bar.)
That was problem #1.
So we fixed that, hooked up the sway bar, and off we went. He then stated that my vehicle was not stopping correctly in conjunction with the trailer. That is, he felt the vehicle was trying to stop both the vehicle and trailer before trailer brakes were kicking in.
That was problem #2. So we readjusted by driving and testing in a big empty parking lot.
So here is the belief of myself and this friend who knew what he was doing.
The brakes were really worn on the towing vehicle (which I only use for towing, it is my third vehicle, so I dont use it daily) The worn brakes were so worn, that when I first adjusted my controller, it was working as it was supposed to, because there was so much play in the vehicle brakes.
When I replaced the shoes, rotors, and drum brakes (emergency brakes), I removed all that play, and the vehicle, when I was braking, now was trying to brake both the trailer and vehicle, before the the vehicle electric brakes kicked in. This may also have lead to the ABS kicking in, as I was braking but not stopping...
With the correct weight distribution set up, and the sway bar, and the readjusted brake controller, we were UNABLE to get the vehicle to lock up with about 2 hours of driving.
PS, I have no sway at all now, even when we pushed it up to 70. And the braking, which we both felt was off, now feels completely right. I THINK the problem is resolved.
PSS What really burns my shorts is that the guy who sold me the camper had NO IDEA how to hook up the weight distribution. He worked for a dealer! (I sent an email).. I paid attention to vehicle towing weight, trailer weight, overloading, etc. I researched GCVW,GVW,GTW and all that before I ever went on the road. I never drove fast. SO I was all in all responsible in my attempts at safety. And this guy put me in danger, as well as probably everyone else he showed. Now I would think I got it wrong, except my spouse is a witness to that, so I did not get it wrong, the guy did not know how to do it.
