Travelling companion

[loulou57]

Our dear friend (We will call her Ann) lost her hubby over 5 years ago. Ann has been ready for a while now to move forward and do something her husband never wanted to do....travel across Canada.
One problem...she does not want to do it alone. Ann is not looking for someone to travel with her. For company as well as being a man able to do and teach her the knowledge etc. Ann is not looking for anything more than a male traveling companion. Money is not an issue either. She is willing to cover all costs but is not wanting someone who is in it for the free ride.
We have offered to take her but she said she would feel uncomfortable rather like the odd one out. The big question is....how does she go about finding someone? Looking on a " singles" site is not what she is looking for.
Any information on how we can help her reach her dream would be appreciated. It is not something easy to accomplish.

[toedtoes]

loulou57 wrote:
seeing her in pj"s or skimpies....not concerned, she says men and women sleep in the same things. (news to me, LOL)

Directing this response directly to Ann as you'll be having her read them all:

It's not what either of you are wearing that's the issue, Ann. It's what is hanging out from under what you're wearing or what he is wearing.

I suggest that you consider this from a man's perspective:

You want him to patiently teach you all about RV'ing while you're on the road, you want him to keep you company 24/7 during the trip, you want him to be in very close quarters throughout the trip yet keep any romantic/erotic feelings to himself, you want to be in charge (it's your RV, your rules, your trip), you want him to meet your requirements to keep from getting "a free ride".

And in return you'll pay his way. Why would he agree to go on a trip during which he is expected to satisfy your needs but during which his needs are not even addressed?

[loulou57]

Toadtoes.....you ask some valid questions, the same as we have asked.

Sleeping in the same bed...no! seeing her in pj"s or skimpies....not concerned, she says men and women sleep in the same things. (news to me, LOL)
I even questioned further, the need for personal private time. She has an answer for everything.

We really wonder if she is looking for someone to take Ralphs place. She can have the company of a man but nothing romantic to feel guilty as if she were cheating.
I think the best would be to either rent a unit and follow us or we follow her to a destination.
She has no children and we are the only friends she is comfortable telling about what she wants. We will have to set her straight soon before she makes a
huge mistake.
Thanks for all the advice and like I said we will have her read these posts this weekend.

[toedtoes]

I think she's got several different things going on with this one idea and she needs to separate them out and decide what she really wants.

1. She wants a man to teach her the ropes of owning and driving an RV. This is probably not best done while on a cross-country trip. Better option is to spend several months at minimum doing local short trips and getting the hang of things, and getting help from friends, etc. on how to hookup, dump tanks, etc.

2. She wants a man for companionship while on the road. I see many things to consider here: why must the companionship be a man? If she doesn't want a "romantic" situation, then wouldn't it be easier to find a woman companion? How are they going to sleep in the RV? Will they share a bed? Will the companion need to use a tent? Is she prepared to walk past the companion in the middle of the night in her gown to use the bathroom? Is she prepared to hear every noise the companion makes when he/she's in the bathroom? There is companionship and then there's living together...

3. She wants to drive cross-country in an RV. Does she really want to do this now as a single woman? Or is she envisioning the trip as she wanted it with her husband and thinks getting a male companion will make it that dream trip?

If she can separate out these things, she might be able to find what it is she really wants (and why she wants it), and then can start making real plans to do it.

[blw2]

A small class B for her.
Work out a plan for a trip where you go to the same places.... at least at the first few stops so that she has you for support. She can have her own schedule, but your guys would be on the same path for a while.
Then she could branch out to see a friend, or do what she wants to do..... then maybe meet back up with you or other friends on the road......

[JordanH]

I recommend getting a dog, I have a pug and he loves to go for rides. I think a pug would make a great road companion. Mine, and every other one I have met has an amazing personality and are very loving animals. also I think a conversion van or up to a class c would be best for her!

[OkSixpack]

I got a copy of my b.c. in less than a day. Another presidential candidate showed his to a major newspaper in less than a week to prove where he was born(in another country to military parents.) There is no excuse for 3 years, but that may be considered political, huh....my apologies to the O.P., I'm sure this is not the type of discussion you were hoping for.

[Turtle_n_Peeps]

Ok, just PM me and I will tell you my address to send the airplane ticket and time to pick me up at the airport.

I will do this.

Now the only thing I have to do is explain to the old lady that I will be taking a vacation to Canada without her. A very long vacation. But I will send her post cards along the way! :B

[loulou57]

Wow all this great info to pass on and keep in mind if I am ever in need.

My hubby and I have talked about the issue of being alone since our friend brought this up to us. We both love the outdoors, fishing, camping etc. We will be married 25 years next year and every married year together we have camped at least 3 full weeks a year and weekends.
We have discussed what we would do if we lost each other. I really feel for people whose spouse/partner has passed. Our friends issues have opened our eyes and we have discussed what is ok so nobody feels guilty for having a life after death. We have to keep on living. As I said I am 57 and my hubby is 48. I would want him to continue our dream, however, it would become his dream and hopefully he would find someone to share the dream and life with.
We will try to encourage Ann to join a group where she can learn about owning a new RV and to meet some people who live the life.

[Dadio24]

If she likes adventures...a group called "Sisters on the fly". They have small TT and travel all over. I have seen them a few times and they are always having a great time. Website http://www.sistersonthefly.com/, and from site..."We are Sisters On The Fly. Our activities run the gamut from fly fishing, kayaking, "Cowgirl College," wine tasting and horseback riding to whatever else sounds like fun. We don't discriminate about race, religion, politics or sexual orientation. Our goal is to bring women together to challenge themselves, to be all they are capable of being. If this sounds like something you would like to be a part of, come along! What are you waiting for?! We're saving a spot for you!" Just my thoughts...sounds like she is way to young to sit and wander if it's right! Just do it!

[wa8yxm]

Well there are several comments: To the person who commented about How "Ann" was willing to travel with a perfect stranger, but not with the poster.. From the original post it is clear the O/P is already "Partnered" (likely married) and thus ANN would feel like a 3rd wheel as it were.. I fully understand.

Though a stranger does rhyme with danger and for good reason... Some of that can be cured via background checks and interview.. These days I can get a background check on most any one for a fee (How small the fee is depends on how good the check is and my definition of small) Feel safe folks, My definition of "Small" won't even get me your phone number. But that "Safe" is only where I am concerned.

There are people where my annual income would be considered a "Small Fee".

Now to the O/P... If not for a couple of things I would love to partner with ANN.

One of those things is political.. I have no passport.. I need a certified copy of my birth certificate in order to get one and misplaced the one I had in the past.. and thanks to a law commonly called HIPPA (Health Information and Patient Protection Act) I'm not entitled to a copy of my very own birth certificate, which I need (Along with a copy of my adoption papers) to get a passport.

Took our current president (Who has the same problem) three years to get an amended copy of HIS birth certificate.. Thankfully for him he already had a passport. I mention this because he is PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, arguabilly the most powerful person on earth (if not the most powerful then clearly #2) and it took him 3 years so.. Oh well.

I will apply one of these days.

Not like the old days, 1996 I think walked into the city clerk's office with darling daughter, Showed my ID, her ID and walked out with a TWO certified copies of her birth certificate.. (Darling Daughter has been to Europe, TWICE. She is an expierenced foreign traveler.. Yup, She has had her suitcase delivered by the lost luggage man :). Story on request only.

[pappcam]

nomad297 wrote:
Is she hot?

:B

Seriously though, this is a pretty strange thread with questions that I wouldn't be relying on totally anonymous stranger's advice to answer. I think the dog advice is good although if she doesn't like dogs that may be a non-starter.

[DutchmenSport]

The BEST travel companion she will have will be to get a lovable, huggable, cuddly dog! It's something she can talk to, (and believe me, dogs do talk back), she can tell secrets too, she can sleep and eat with, spoil, go on walks, and will also be a good companion to help protect her. She's already willing to pay the way for someone else...why not good old "Fido" and give "Fido" a really good home! Sounds like a win-win situation to me!

[Stars101]

How about renting a Roadtrek or smaller RV and try it out on one of the guided caravans that are offered? They have trips in both the US and Canada, plus Mexico. they have people there who will help and by the end she will be totally comfortable with the "RV" aspect of things.

She might also meet another single person who could be a travel buddy in the future.... it doesn't HAVE to be a man! LOL. She might find a great, outgoing widow or single lady who shares her interest and will be a new, life long friend.

We have met some GREAT people in the Holiday Rambler Club. If she has an idea of what brand she wants to buy, she could attend some Owner's Group camp-outs and get involved. I agree that making contact via a "camping" club or similar venue would be the best place to start.

Many years ago a small Toyota RV pulled into our driveway. It was an elderly friend of my father's who was on his dream US tour. His wife had died and he had found a much younger, single lady (previous neighbor in the apartment complex) who agreed to accompany him and help him out. He had some health issues and needed a younger person along. And his family wouldn't help (they wanted him in a nursing home so they could live in his "nicer" apartment!). So he was literally "spending their inheritance" by paying for not only the trip, but he "hired" her at her regular rate of pay as a nurse's aide at a local hospital. That way she would have something to live on when she was done traveling with him and looking for a new job. She was a very nice young woman who lucked out and got the trip of lifetime with a very pleasant gentleman who treated her like his granddaughter.

Edit: I just remembered that their 1 year tour lasted nearly 4 and included Canada and Mexico... and he died on the road - happy. We rec'd postcards once or twice a year and my Dad sat at the kitchen table and chuckled... he knew the "kids" (and grandkids) and thought they were the biggest bunch of mooches he had ever met 🙂

[Robin1953]

loulou57 wrote:
Thanks everyone.....Ann is coming over for dinner with hubby and I this weekend to discuss this more. We will tell her about the sites you have mentioned. I will suggest she read your comments

I have no experience with this organization but I have read that it is Ok. Loners On Wheels Just be careful no matter what she decides and best of luck.

[nomad297]

Is she hot?