Who Drives? The Man or the Woman?

[LittleRed586]

I thought that I would pose this question to some of you older RVers.

For heterosexual couples on the road, does the man or the woman drive the majority of the time?

The reason I am asking is because I'm taking hell from my 86 year old surrogate grandmother (Aunt Edith) over the fact that I will be the primary driver when my husband and I go on the road full time in a year or two.

My husband and I are both in our thirties and are planning on hitting the road once his medical retirement from the military is finished. We happened to visit my Aunt Edith and Uncle Archie a few days ago while we were on our way to an RV dealership. When we mentioned that we were planning on doing RVing full time, my Aunt Edith asked how my husband was going to drive the rig if his knees are bad. I mentioned that I was going to be the one doing the vast majority of the driving.

When Aunt Edith heard this she immediately exclaimed, "but the man is supposed to drive!" She and Uncle Archie did some RVing in a class C motorhome back in the 1990's and she never learned how to drive the rig because she wasn't "supposed" to drive.

I am somewhat of an atypical female when it comes to driving because I am legally a professional driver. When I was 26, I became a truck driver after leaving an abusive marriage. I have literally driven every thing from a tractor trailer to a taxi cab/limo (side gig). I think that I can handle a truck and an RV.

My husband doesn't like to drive much when he is with me because apparently he thinks that I am a better driver than he is. He also thinks that I am a superhero with special powers, but that is another post 😄

Aunt Edith even went as far as to tell me that she was going to call my mom if she ever caught me behind the wheel of our rig! My mom and step father are weekend RVers and my mom refuses to drive their rig. Aunt Edith used that fact and said "but your mother doesn't drive!"

Is it REALLY that inappropriate for a female to be the primary driver of a rig these days? Every time I talk to Aunt Edith I take hell for this.

[Matt_Colie]

You gotta love this thread folks.

I have worked parking at a few FMCA events. I can tell you right up front that the solo women are the best at handling the rig.

We are usually the odd one out here, not this time. We have a small old class A. DW (Mary by name) loves driving it. This is fine with me because then I get to sit in the right seat and navigate and surf for interesting things to see (when I can get wire). The exception is at night or tight driving. I probably still have more hours in the driver's seat, this coach was my work truck, tool crib, office, meeting room, restaurant and occasional motel for more than a few years. When the depression shut that down, I tried to sell the coach and Mary got the great idea that we could do Rt-66 and get to Albuquerque for the balloons. We did. She took up driving when we were late and I needed sleep. That was that.

Still works that way and I am sorry for those that can't even share the driving.

Matt

[2gypsies1]

Sandia Man wrote:
She doesn't prefer to maneuver our 60' towing combo into RV sites which is not a biggie since it is a piece of cake for me to do anyway.

Backing in a RV is very simple. . . just follow the director's hand signals. The director is the one that has to make the decisions, not the driver. If she backs into a tree then it's your fault, not hers. 🙂

[Old-Biscuit]

IS Aunt Edith going with you? :S

Who cares who drives.

Just don't be a unsafe driver whomever is behind the wheel

[SwanInWA]

Tell your aunt to mind her old-fashioned business. Be proud you have the skill and confidence to drive your RV, not all women do. I was lucky enough to take a training course for getting a CDL license (to drive a 34' bookmobile). Hubby drives most of the time, by choice, but I have no problem towing our truck/trailer combo when needed.

[Sandia_Man]

Although I do most of the driving, whether it's just driving to the supermarket or towing our rig down the road, my DW is very capable of driving while we are RVing and does so here and there. She doesn't prefer to maneuver our 60' towing combo into RV sites which is not a biggie since it is a piece of cake for me to do anyway. We don't sweat the small stuff.

We have a few older relatives that have similar viewpoints of your Aunt, we just nod OK and take no heed. Hard to teach an old dog new tricks as they say and it's just a waste of time attempting to convince them otherwise. We are all set in our ways to some degree, but we have always done things our way and worry not about what others may believe or perceive.

[Wills6_4_Hemi]

My wife and I split the driving, towing a 30' TT with a golf cart in the bed of a CC drw lb truck. After all she has the CDL license and I have a regular license.tell aunt Edith it will work out just fine.

[md_procouple]

I forgot to mention in my earlier post. Hubby became incapacitated one weekend while we were camping, as a result, I had to Break Camp, Hook up camper, Empty the Holding tanks, and drive us home. Although he was able to watch, and correct me if needed, I had to do everything myself, and I thanked him afterwards on our way home. He made me learn everything that had to be done... just in case, (over my objections) when we bought our camper, and now I know I can indeed do it if need be. Good Luck and Happy Camping !!

[rk911]

my wife used to drive our first MH (26' class A, 1986-2000). since then she refuses to drive saying "it's too big". I wish she would at least give it a try.

these days our driving days are limited to about 4-hrs of actual driving usually divided into two 2-hr segments with a 1-hr stop in between. so it's not like I'm stressed or worn out. I've tried the argument that in case of an emergency her being able to drive the MH may be what keeps us, or me, from a bad situation. she's just got it in her mind that she can't.

don't blame Aunt Edith...she's from a different era.

[Hammerhead]

I have an aunt who played high school basketball when girls were only allowed to play on one half of the court.

I like to drive and my wife only takes the wheel (when we are not towing) when we are on long road trips and spend all of our waking ours in the car and I need a rest break.

[Bumpyroad]

I did about 99.9% of the motorhome driving and 75% of the auto driving mainly because I get nervous with the wife's driving. in the motorhome, I would find a stretch of interstate about 60 miles between rest stops with no city between them and have her drive to get used to it for emergency purposes.
bumpy

[romore]

Your aunt is definitely from an another era. My aunt and grandmother were never allowed to get their licenses, that was the man's domain. In other countries it is the woman's duty to serve her husband by chauffeuring him around. Go figure.
My mom didn't want to drive but dad insisted she get her license and a car, he got tired of having to cut his day short and drive her for groceries and kids dental appointments. She still wouldn't drive the truck with the tc though. My wife wanted to try the tv and fifth wheel, she actually enjoyed it although she would not pull in for fuel or a campsite, I enjoyed the break. Unfortunately, she has given up driving due to health issues which makes long days for me.

[2gypsies1]

We both drove equal time at 75 yr. This has nothing to do with age.

[dewey02]

You two just need to do what works for you. It isn't anybody else's business.
My wife has no problem driving the 3/4 ton Dodge, but refuses to tow the 26 foot travel trailer. Sometimes it makes for long days on the road behind the wheel.

[coolmom42]

Bumpyroad wrote:
don't talk to aunt edith. tell her to MYOB
bumpy

Yep. In a nice but very firm way. Point out to her that times have changed, there are women astronauts and fighter pilots now. She must be really out of touch with current events.

Aside from your hubby's medical issues, you are clearly a more skilled driver than 90 percent of the people on the road, male or female. It would be a good idea for your hubby to be able to drive enough to manage if you are sick or otherwise not able to drive.

When I travel with my boyfriend, we share the driving if there is any distance involved.

[DutchmenSport]

LittleRed586??? um? how old are you? Over 21 years? Right? How long have you been married? And your husband is / has been in military service? And from your previous posts, you've lived in other countries where he was stationed?

It's quite obvious you have already broken the "norms" of your family. Don't you think you are person of your own thinking? (I think you are!) This is the year 2017! You are not your aunt, nor are you your parents! As in all marriages, YOU have to do what works for YOU! If you want to drive, then by-golly, you drive!

I make sure my wife drives the camper. I make sure she, not only knows, but can actually hitch and unhitch, set up and break camp on her own. She drives, and if she runs into a situation, knows how to get help or assistance.

Why?

Because if I become incapacitated, have an accident, or even get killed, I have all the confidence in the word SHE can get me to the hospital (or the morgue), and get the camper home with me NOT being there! You just never know what may happen.

You drive and put your family behind you! When you are on the road, what's important is what happens between you and your husband. Not you and your aunt!

Good luck and happy driving!