Backing Tips to save your marriage

[CincyGus]

I, like many of you, have a spouse that does not understand the art of communication through mirrors or windows. When we got our first camper (a popup), I needed no help because I could see over it and around it. After years of backing up to stock trailers and 2 horse trailers, I was pretty good at centering on the inside of the tailgate and judging distance from the camper to get close to the ball.

Last Feb, we upgraded to a TT and the sight issues caused by the taller camper along with it being brand new, made me ask for guidance when backing, just as a precaution.

I quickly learned that my wife is very good at arm flailing, walking out of sight of the mirrors and continues to do the same thing she does in the house which is talk to me from a distance or looking in a direction that I have no chance of hearing her or reading her lips.

I tried explaining to her that if she can not see my eyes in the large mirrors on our truck, I can not see her. That didn't help nor did it stop her from walking behind the trailer and flailing.

So I told her to help her remember to stay within my sight, I would stop if I could no longer see her. That worked......for a while. I then discovered that my lovely wife was born with alligator arms. Meaning that they can go from completely wide open, stretched to each side, slightly waving her hands only at the wrist, to SNAPPING closed like a 10' gator in the swamps of La. All while I'm riding the break at idle speed. Damn Chevy is just too fast in reverse 😉

Luckily, besides being lovely, my DW gave me the best present in my life, my lovely DD. She, luckily for me, understands the concept of maintaining visual contact, looks at me when speaking so if I can not hear her, I have a chance to read lips and was born with human arms. A backing, hitching team was born!

So, for those of you that struggle with backing, my tips are as follows:

1) Find a plastic construction cone and go practice in a parking lot. By yourself. If that doesn't work move to step 2.

2) Ask your spouse to join you in the parking lot and explain visual contact, facing the driver's mirror when speaking and that adjustments and hand signals should be made gradually and far enough in advance to not require a 2' correction in the last 3" of backing. If not successful, move to step 3.

Bring a Son, Daughter, sign up for big brothers or sisters and take them camping or bother the guy sitting in his lawn chair at the campground drinking his beer and smirking at you while your spouse is inventing new words to call you.

The truth of the matter is, it's not hard to back with a little practice and anyone that sees it as stressful, needs to be removed from the equation. The other party should just take their time and do it nice and slow and it will get done, even if it means getting in and out of the vehicle a few extra times.

Hope you enjoyed my little story and are not living it.
Good camping (and backing) to all.

[S_Sullivan]

azdryheat wrote:
Wife and I use walkie-talkies to back our 5r. No visual signaling required.

X2

DH calls them "marriage savers" :B

[Halmfamily]

Walkie talkies works for us. Just had to make her understand to stand facing the RV so that Ber left is my left. Last trip out we had to listen to a couple scream at each other with many f bombs dropping as he tried to back in his TT. I hoped they enjoyed there trip.

[owenssailor]

We have always managed fine with hand signals but now use 2 radios. Much better for clarity and no misunderstanding.

[othertonka]

I find that if you get some orange cones and both you and the spotter walk the site and both determine where you want to spot the RV and put the cones at the back and front corner marking those spots, you have solved one part of the equasion. You both then know where you want to end up. That settles that argument before it even happens. Then you just have to back in to the cones, job done. For a trailer backing in from the drivers side makes it easier to see those cones.There is the "scoop" method for trailers that works real well, I will see if I can find a link.

The scoop method

[fla-gypsy]

I let mine stand back there and make unintelligible motions. She asked me how I heard what she was saying with the windows up? I now even roll down the windows to make it look good.

[LakeN]

azdryheat wrote:
Wife and I use walkie-talkies to back our 5r. No visual signaling required.

Ditto...

[wthibeaux]

The solution is pretty simple. Let her back the truck while you give her directions. Works for us.

[phillyg]

We go through the same thing, no matter how many times I've reminded my DW I can neither see her or hear her when she's not seeing my eyes in the mirrors. In my case I've determined it's best to just do it myself or there's going to be angst.

[azdryheat]

Wife and I use walkie-talkies to back our 5r. No visual signaling required.

[wildwest450]

I never realized how many tt owners can't hook up or back their rig up.

[TucsonJim]

I'd comment, but my DW might be reading this forum.

[Bucky_Badger]

wife walks the dogs while I back up

[edsland]

1/2 the time I'm by myself and I have a $20 set of telescoping poles with yellow balls on top and a magnet base. Line the balls up as you back one on the ball of the hitch, the other on the trailer receiver. When they touch its done, easy and cheap.

[PapPappy]

The other option for backing up to the trailer, would be one of those little cameras.
They do have their limitations, but for hitch to ball, they are pretty good.

For backing into a camp site, that is another can of worms, and I'm glad that I've got a MH, instead of a trailer:)

I highly recommend getting out and walking the site......and if you want, you can get some wooden dowels (brightly painted helps) and put them in the ground so that you can see them out the driver's mirror. Back up along them, and stop at the rear one. If you have problems with judging distances, staple a cardboard "flag" on it, and then hit the flag with the rear of the trailer. (no harm no foal).
Just remember to look all around the parking site, and that includes UP.....you don't want to damage the A/C unit with some low branch. Remind DW (if you are using an assistant) to be watching UP too.

It is also best to explain to DW or any other assistant, that while you may be considered a PITA during this parking experience.....it's gotta be a whole lot more enjoyable than if you were to damage the RV because they weren't listening or doing their job:S

[Dtaylor]

Good info.
I do have the wife spot me when backing. One thing we did from the very start was make sure she stands where she can see the mirror and we are VERY CLEAR on hand signals. No waving or flaying around. You would think we are landing a 747. There is NO shouting or yelling! I saw a guy have his wife in tears because they could not communicate and they were using radios.