Newbie here, no RV, but have serious situation. need advice

[Caroline5]

I don't even know where to begin. I live in the Seattle area and my 89 year old mother lives up in Winnipeg in Central Canada. Yesterday she broke her leg when she was hit by a car while crossing at a crosswalk in a store parking lot. The driver was totally at fault as he was looking for a parking spot and not paying attention to where he was going.
I am thinking that the best thing for her and her German Shepherd would be to bring them down here while she mends. She no longer wants to fly and can not sit very long in a car, so I am wondering if renting and RV would be a good option for transporting her as comfortably as possible. I have course have no idea how much that would cost, how comfortable it would be for her to ride in an RV or anything else. Please help me, as I want to get as much information as possible before I present the idea to her in more detail. Or if there is anyone driving out this way that could transport her in a month or so please let me know. My mom is a wonderful woman, very much loved and very intelligent.
It isn't as if I didn't have enough on my plate for this summer, with prom coming up for one daughter, a new grandson up in Edmonton for another and the third daughter getting married in August. Plus a home business to run and various other responsibilities. My mother can't stay in her home because it is an old 2 story with a long steep flight of stairs going up to the second floor and no bathroom on the main floor. Staying at my sister's isn't an option either. She is afraid that she may have to give up her dog who gives her life so much meaning and who was one of the top German Shepherds in obedience in Canada.

[Joyce_in_NY]

My 87 year old mom broke her ankle in February. I dropped everything and moved in with her for a month. She was completely wheelchair bound --both in the house and outside. Her home is an old 1850s house but she does have a bathroom on the main floor. She slept downstairs on the couch because she refused to have a bed moved downstairs. (even though there was room) We used a potty chair at night, but she was able to use the downstairs bathroom during the day (she could transfer from the wheelchair). You would need to use the potty chair full time. I was fortunate in that my sisters took over on weekends when they were off so I could go home to spend time with my own family.

The elderly do best when in their own home. It certainly would have been nicer for me to have her at my house, but she would not have been nearly as comfortable. After the one month mark, mom was able to maneuver enough to manage on her own. Your mom would probably need the full six-eight weeks of help. I have no regrets in doing this for my mom, even though my life went on hold. She will not be with us that much longer, and it's the least I could do!

[Caroline5]

SCVJeff wrote:
What about a stair lift?

We would have to see how much room is required on the second floor as the landing there is tiny, about 3.5 x 3.5.

[fla-gypsy]

This is a difficult position you find yourself in. Avoiding assisted living is not going to be easy. With that type of injury mobility is an overriding problem that is difficult to overcome. My mother is also that age and only lives 2 miles from me and I think I would still consider assisted living in those circumstances. I know that's not what you wanted to hear but you can't let emotion cloud what is already a difficult problem to overcome.

[coolmom42]

Your mother is going to NEED to go to some sort of rehab facility, or at the very least do physical therapy at home. A hard fall in a person that age can have serious consequences if she doesn't get back up to 100%.

Find someone to take care of her dog until she gets home. Maybe someone she knows in the obedience dog community???

Set her up a bedroom and temporary bathroom on the lower level of the house. Or possibly consider renting a smaller house for her, that's more suitable. She could also look into having a bathroom added on the lower floor. But steep stairs are a very bad situation for someone her age.

She should be able to get some sort of home health care, or housekeeping service, until she is able to take care of herself 100%.

Her emotional state is pretty important. I strongly recommend getting her back in her home and her dog back with her, by any means possible. If she gets depressed and gives up, it's all over with.

The hospital SHOULD have some sort of social worker/discharge coordinator who may be able to help you set up her care when she leaves the hospital. But you are going to have to go up there and deal with the dog and house situation, at the very least.

My sympathy to you.... dealing with elderly parents can be tough in every way.

[dave17352]

x3 on insurance. That could be disastrous.

[Homer1]

I would put her in assisted living and bring the dog home with you. The poster on the insurance problem is right on, and this is not time to test the water on that. There are many other consequential matters to consider here as well as her daily mobility.

[Caroline5]

darsben wrote:

Caroline5 wrote:

Naio wrote:
I wonder if it would be a good idea to set up a bed, clothes storage, etc, on the ground floor of her house -- even if it has to be in the corner of the living room. In the long term, at her age, it is not going to be practical to have all the bedrooms upstairs.

She might even be able to stay in her house with the current injury, if she can sleep downstairs and have some one to help her (family or a hired caregiver).

I agree that the train would be as comfortable as an RV, and much simpler. I crossed the US by train with a broken foot, once. The stewards and red caps are very nice, and will drive you through the station on their electric trucks if you ask 🙂

There is not bathroom or toilet on the main floor.

IN a bedroom the bathroom is right there IN THE ROOM

We did already discuss that option and I wish it were possible, but this is an old house built in about 1911. It still has original plaster walls, hardwood floors etc. The main floor consists of kitchen, livingroom and diningroom, there is no room for a bathroom and putting one in would decrease the charm and value of this beautiful old home. Even the bathroom upstairs can not be remodeled as it has the original clawfoot tub.

[darsben]

Caroline5 wrote:

Naio wrote:
I wonder if it would be a good idea to set up a bed, clothes storage, etc, on the ground floor of her house -- even if it has to be in the corner of the living room. In the long term, at her age, it is not going to be practical to have all the bedrooms upstairs.

She might even be able to stay in her house with the current injury, if she can sleep downstairs and have some one to help her (family or a hired caregiver).

I agree that the train would be as comfortable as an RV, and much simpler. I crossed the US by train with a broken foot, once. The stewards and red caps are very nice, and will drive you through the station on their electric trucks if you ask 🙂

There is not bathroom or toilet on the main floor.

IN a bedroom the bathroom is right there IN THE ROOM

[SoundGuy]

darsben wrote:
The insurance payment issues might be huge if she comes south.

As a Canadian I'd echo these comments and wouldn't even remotely consider moving an aged parent with failing health out of Canada where he/she has health insurance to a country where he/she won't without great additional cost. Any mistake and this could cost you and everything your mother owns, and then some. JMO, but this is a terrible idea.

[Go_Dogs]

What if you placed her in a rehab facility until she mends? In the meantime, drive up there and get the dog-keep the dog at your place until mom is either ready to go home, or move in with you.

[SCVJeff]

What about a stair lift?

[ol_Bombero-JC]

Suggest you ask the mods move your thread to this RV Net Forum -

"RVing with disabilities and general health issues"

or-

re-post to same *with different wording* - as duplicates are not allowed per forum rules.

~

[Caroline5]

Naio wrote:
I wonder if it would be a good idea to set up a bed, clothes storage, etc, on the ground floor of her house -- even if it has to be in the corner of the living room. In the long term, at her age, it is not going to be practical to have all the bedrooms upstairs.

She might even be able to stay in her house with the current injury, if she can sleep downstairs and have some one to help her (family or a hired caregiver).

I agree that the train would be as comfortable as an RV, and much simpler. I crossed the US by train with a broken foot, once. The stewards and red caps are very nice, and will drive you through the station on their electric trucks if you ask 🙂

There is not bathroom or toilet on the main floor.

[Caroline5]

darsben wrote:
TAKE the VIA RAIL train to Vancouver,
AMTRAK train to Seattle and then whatever train gets you closest to home. Get a bedroom. Have meals brought to the room. Yes the will do that both on Amtrak and VIA RAIL. In fact they will bring meals to your coach seat as well.

Who will pay for her rehab while she is here in the states?
The insurance payment issues might be huge if she comes south.
In addition the U.S. government may declare her a part time resident and tax her if she stays to long in the USA.
good CBC article at
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/taxes/canadian-snowbirds-tax-season-2016-1.3451763

These are all things that we need to consider before making a decision which is why I am in the process of collecting information. She has asked that I go up there to take care of her as well, I just don't know how long I can with all going on this summer, hence me exploring the easiest most comfortable way to get her down here.
She witnessed a good friend go downhill very rapidly after she was forced by her children to give up her dogs and go into a retirement home and she is afraid of that happening to her as well.

[Naio]

I wonder if it would be a good idea to set up a bed, clothes storage, etc, on the ground floor of her house -- even if it has to be in the corner of the living room. In the long term, at her age, it is not going to be practical to have all the bedrooms upstairs.

For a bathroom, you can rent a 'commode' (need someone to empty it after use), or get a composting toilet (empty once a year), if remodeling is not practical.

She might even be able to stay in her house with the current injury, if she can sleep downstairs and have some one to help her (family or a hired caregiver).

I agree that the train would be as comfortable as an RV, and much simpler. I crossed the US by train with a broken foot, once. The stewards and red caps are very nice, and will drive you through the station on their electric trucks if you ask 🙂