Who Drives? The Man or the Woman?

[LittleRed586]

I thought that I would pose this question to some of you older RVers.

For heterosexual couples on the road, does the man or the woman drive the majority of the time?

The reason I am asking is because I'm taking hell from my 86 year old surrogate grandmother (Aunt Edith) over the fact that I will be the primary driver when my husband and I go on the road full time in a year or two.

My husband and I are both in our thirties and are planning on hitting the road once his medical retirement from the military is finished. We happened to visit my Aunt Edith and Uncle Archie a few days ago while we were on our way to an RV dealership. When we mentioned that we were planning on doing RVing full time, my Aunt Edith asked how my husband was going to drive the rig if his knees are bad. I mentioned that I was going to be the one doing the vast majority of the driving.

When Aunt Edith heard this she immediately exclaimed, "but the man is supposed to drive!" She and Uncle Archie did some RVing in a class C motorhome back in the 1990's and she never learned how to drive the rig because she wasn't "supposed" to drive.

I am somewhat of an atypical female when it comes to driving because I am legally a professional driver. When I was 26, I became a truck driver after leaving an abusive marriage. I have literally driven every thing from a tractor trailer to a taxi cab/limo (side gig). I think that I can handle a truck and an RV.

My husband doesn't like to drive much when he is with me because apparently he thinks that I am a better driver than he is. He also thinks that I am a superhero with special powers, but that is another post 😄

Aunt Edith even went as far as to tell me that she was going to call my mom if she ever caught me behind the wheel of our rig! My mom and step father are weekend RVers and my mom refuses to drive their rig. Aunt Edith used that fact and said "but your mother doesn't drive!"

Is it REALLY that inappropriate for a female to be the primary driver of a rig these days? Every time I talk to Aunt Edith I take hell for this.

[Tiger4x4RV]

jplante4 wrote:
Regardless of who drives, the other person should at least be competent enough to take over and drive to the next off-ramp in case of emergencies.

X2 on that. Nobody gets to refuse to learn how to drive the rig for at least a short distance. When choosing your RV, be sure that the setup can fit either of you if heights differ greatly.

[jplante4]

Regardless of who drives, the other person should at least be competent enough to take over and drive to the next off-ramp in case of emergencies. I keep meaning to get the DW into a big empty parking lot for a lesson on the basics, but it never seems to happen. In a pinch (and if I'm conscious), she could do it.

[md_procouple]

We share the driving, when I drive its mostly daytime, hubby however does most of the driving, and prefers to drive at night and early mornings. So depending where we are going mostly determines who drives. I however will not try to get into a campsite, I'm better at guiding him into a spot. ..Good Luck and Happy Camping !!!

[roxy13019]

Love that older generation :R Since my husband has a bad back, I do a lot of the driving. But, we both love to drive our motorhome so sometimes there is some jockeying for the driver's seat when we head out somewhere 🙂
We bought our first C class from an older couple that the man had decided he wasn't well enough to drive it anymore and he said his wife couldn't drive it. She was pretty angry about that. Rightly so! It meant the end of her traveling days. She was doubly mad when I said I was going to do the driving and her husband seemed fine with that.
I get kind of offended when the older uncles act like I deserve extra credit for driving. Like it's some kind of Olympic event that only a man can do.
Whew! Sorry for the rant. We try to ignore what other people think we should do and just figure out what works best for us.

[Cloud_Dancer]

This is a weird subject. Women are now liberated, and if they want to learn how to be a good/safe driver of a large RV, more power to them. And, the same goes for men.
And, did I mention that I'm the best driver out there?

[Dutch_12078]

My 72 year old wife and I (74) have always split the motorhome and other long distance driving, but as her health has declined over the last few years, I now do most of the driving. It's definitely never been a "woman's place" issue here. Tell Aunt Edith women even get to vote now! 😉

[LadyRVer]

When my husband was alive, I did all the driving, motor homes with toad or towing fifthwheels. He was not comfortable driving, I loved it. Tell Grandma I am 73, alone with my fur baby now and still on the go. Currently have a 31'fiver with 2500, long bed, crew cab truck. Happy trails.

[accsys]

We have been married almost 49 years and I have driven 99.9 percent of the time we go anywhere. My wife hates to drive and I love to drive. That has carried over to our MH driving except she refuses to drive it. If something happens to me while we are on the road, she has a phone number to call and someone will come and drive the MH home.

Some of this is our age and the culture of being born and raised when we were. I suspect your Aunt may have the same built in biases but that shouldn't mean anything to you. It's your rig and you should do what pleases the two of you - no one else matters. You bought it to have fun, so have fun, even if that means you driving 100 percent of the time and leaving your Aunt with her mouth wide open in awe.

[turtles]

Hahaha! Oh, Aunt Edith! We are in the year 2017 where women have the freedom to do whatever the heck they want to! I am impressed your SO admits you are a better driver! We all have our talents and we should let them ~***shine***~. I back up our truck way better to the TC than my hubby. I drive better in city limits than him. He can handle long hauls better than I can. The only right way to do things is to do what feels best for you as a team.
Good luck on your adventures!

[MNGeeks61]

LittleRed586 wrote:

Is it REALLY that inappropriate for a female to be the primary driver of a rig these days? Every time I talk to Aunt Edith I take hell for this.

Why shouldn't you drive? What is the difference to your aunt?

We just came back from a trip to Texas. Since we were rushing back due to doggy illness my wife drove the truck for at least 4 hours so I could sleep.

If you're comfortable with driving the rig (to me that is the key) why would your aunt be the deciding factor on who drives? 😛

[LittleRed586]

My husband also has PTSD from driving a truck in various war zones. If he's not on open, traffic free road he has anxiety attacks. He ended up giving me a set of keys to his prized 4Runner less than 60 days after we met.

[NYCgrrl]

I'm my maternal side of the family's anomaly.

My grandmother was a speed demon who drove her Datsun 280Z well into her 80's. Several of her great grandsons vied for the car keys by cleaning up her backyard and basement but it went to a grandson instead, LOL........they were soooo obvious.

My mother owned a Fiat sedan and enjoyed hopping in it at a moment's notice to drive up to ME where she swore lobsters just jumped into her car unbidden.

All my siblings (don't have any brothers)own cars and drive.

Which leaves me as an excellent navigator ('cept for that time we were driving to Cape Cod via I95 and I forgot that NJ was south of NYC...oops) who is now required to learn to drive as the price of Rving per the man.

[noteven]

...what these folks said ^^

[WVbassmistress]

Dear Aunt Edith may just be a sign of HER time. You are a sign of ours.

I also had my CDL when I was part owner in a horse stable and my horse hated a trailer. The only way he would go to shows was a big box truck. The old gentleman that we hired got to an age where the insurance got too high. So I bought his truck and started hauling horses myself.

Whenever we drive, towing or not, I am the primary driver. Not to say he doesn't drive, but when he does I either get car sick or fall asleep. Neither makes for good company.

[Bumpyroad]

don't talk to aunt edith. tell her to MYOB
bumpy