Spouse left behind after death at a Campsite, what to do?

[Songbirds]

My wife and I were married back in 1974. We have one daughter who is now 48. I have been a long-time camper and had our share of outdoor toys, why before the toy haulers were popular and many other trailers I've seen roll off the assembly line. We were camping before our first family Ford VAN came along in 1975-Econoline VAN, by myself with shag carpet which was converted into a make-shift camper before that was even a thing, with crazy wild color carpet.

At some point, we jumped into trailers for room and comforts. Then came the day we got a Class A, motorhome and began to tour parts of the USA before I neared retirement. Which we switched into a longer and newer model as we were going on a full-time tour. But our lives were always pulled back by our jobs and the need others had for what was in our heads. ""haha""

Our daughter and her husband followed our tracks getting a Trailer toy-Haller. Some small boats and them ATV things. Without knowing came the words I had always heard from my wife. But this time from my daughter while on a camping trip. "Dad, she said" I don't know what I would do, if I lost Jon, and had to pack everything and hook up the trailer to head back home?

This was the first time I had even entertained the thought as I always felt it would just work itself all out, Okay. Or would it all be alright? Once, on an away trip in Class A, I had gotten very dizzy, sick, and broke into a cold sweat, as I had done almost 30-days apart for the prior year. A few trips to the Doctor and we learned my Gull Bladder had to go. So I was getting what my wide and daughter had been asking me about for years?. As we departed Utah and headed back home to Florida in our Class A, the very thought was what would the weakest minded person do to get it all back home in one peace? I had just turned 70-years old and the coming year came COVID-19 came 2020.

We sold our Class A, and we jumped into a Class B, Coachmen Galleria. As it has turned out has been great for restaurants visits and eating out with COVID in the air, while inside the VAN watching TV. Also driving our Van to some doctor visits and took in an RV Park to do our shake-down trip.

The wife and I have been together for over 50-years and were still in love and get along very well. I asked if the VAN would work? She said she could handle the VAN, but what if I dropped dead on the ground? Simple now my dear wife. Call the POLICE while I'm still on the ground and don't touch me just tell them it's not my "Gull Bladder" they will know what to do. Then call our lawyer to handle the details and drive back home. Or call our SON-in-Law and fly back home or wait and go back with JON or our daughter whatever. Also, we know she can handle the Van. But what about the VAN, give it to the KIDS, and tell Jon if he has a problem with the Beer give it to our fellow RV'ers wherever were parked.

So my fellow RV'ers, I posse this question to anyone who has an idea or has been asked by their spouse. You're out on your last campground outing and then your Facedown in the dirt, What would you suggest to others be done with you? And if alone who would know? This very thing did happen to a fellow RV'er while at and RV Park.

The Fire and Ambulance arrived at the RV Park, which got everyone's attention in the park. We learned the man had a heart attic and they took him away. She left with them and on her return. My wife took her a dish of potato salad. She, my wife was unable to talk with her and the RV Park gave them a Free Park visit. Some of us park fellow RV'ers guys, went over and rolled up and unhooked everything, and she towed the Vehicle all back home about 500-miles away. This all took a few days maybe just two days. It all happened kind of fast.

I Would like to know your thoughts? if something were to happen in front of you? I can see at 50-or even 80-years of age can be a big deal for the partner or family members to deal with the passing of another and having to deal with the details.

What would you do or think should be done, I would like to know. Let's please not know if it did but keep the post objective as to details would be helpful in just knowing. Thanks for sharing.

[DCS7]

This happened to me. We had just arrived to our winter destination in a new RV. He survived a month before passing. I had to try and figure out repairs to the RV, taking care of two dogs and visiting the hospital for hours a day. Then cremation and going back home to Wisconsin in winter, 1500 miles away. I can truly say, God provides, because I found people to help in various ways. My stepson had flown out and stayed with me and helped to drive the RV back. I do wish I had done more of the tasks so I was comfortable with them. I am still rving in a smaller RV but I haven’t tackled towing.

[Tvov]

My wife knows how to do everything and has watched me... but reading this makes me realize she's never really done everything on her own.

We are usually plenty busy with our "jobs" arriving and leaving a campsite. I keep thinking that I should have her do more with the hitching and towing, but I usually forget until after everything is done.

[afidel]

My wife has always been able to do anything and everything I can do other than troubleshoot electrical. In fact while I'll do ~80% of the driving I let her do ~90% of the parking because she's simply better at it than I am and I'm better at giving clear directions. Should something happen to me she knows every part of the teardown and setup process and she's mentally tough enough that she'd make it through if need be.

[Matt_Colie]

In our small group of several hundred 45+yo coaches, we routinely (like one next weekend) run a ladies driving school. In these, we recruit those ladies that do to teach the others. It is not just driving, it is about everything you need to know to manage the coach. Start up checklists and all of that. I am proud that Mary is one of the instructors, but it has just occurred to me that she may need to know more. I think we need to arrange more training. Both for me on the house hold books, and her on how to deal with a 48yo coach that we love.

I'm not sure why this took so long. A sailing couple friends of ours had a time when he went not quite overboard. He was in the water, and hanging from something by a foot. She was able to control the boat and still manage to arrange to get him back aboard. The situation is very parallel.

Matt

[ferndaleflyer]

I dropped out last year in FL. The EMS hauled me off to the hospital. Daughter flew down from MD and drove our DP back home. I am 80 and it turned out to be something minor but I think we have all our ducks in a row. Don't matter if I drop dead they got to figure it out--I won't be here. I just try to keep on moving and not worry about things like that

[BarabooBob]

As many of the great people on here have pointed out, planning and mental attitude are very important. My wife and daughters will get through whatever happens. They are tough and practical. They would tell an outside observer that either of us died doing what we love so the end was good.
If something happens to my wife, I will be lonely and very sad but I will get through it.
We talked on this subject this evening after reading the OP and before I made my first post to this thread. We both realize that nobody gets out of this world alive. We trust in our faith that the best comes after this life ends. I hope nobody is offended by that statement.

[LadyRVer]

When my late husband was alive and we traveled, I carried the Good Sam Medical Assistance Program and the FMCA membership (for their benefits.) As I did all the driving and setting up, etc, I would have been OK to get the rig back to our home area and he would have been taken care of through one of the programs. If something had happened to me, my late husband could not have gotten our rig back home. He would have called his daughter and SIL to come to his aid.

Now, I am alone (he passed away in Hospice in our home town) and it takes more planning. I have my funeral plans prepaid and have travel insurance to bring my body back to home area. Guess his daughter and SIL would come get the rig and do whatever needs to be done. My hope is they will keep it and camp on. All legal paperwork is done.

[down_home]

Wife is very astute. Something happens to me, she would have my body shipped home and have one of the kids or her sisters or brothers fly out to ride with her in the coach back home. My health is such I would do the same but Sibbling or Relative would drive it hem for me.
t the moment we are sans coach as we sold ours. Considering some different models now or another new home or on lake north of here and Suburban etc for travel. Off subject but after staying in Jackson Hole and cabins in Tetons and surrounding ares t $450.00+- per night plus Taxes ,in old or new facilities anther motor is the target.

[Bobbo]

As far as getting the RV home, DW would call one of our many camping friends and fly him out to get her home. But, that would be the least of her problems.

[BarabooBob]

M wife and I have talked about how to handle this situation. She is able and does drive our truck and TT. She would make arrangements for cremation of my remains and have them sent home when that is done. She would contact all of our family members and someone would make arrangements to get to her asap to help her get everything home. About 20 years ago I had a medical emergency while we were travelling and my family mobilized to get us home. Luckily, I recovered enough to get home with the assistance of my wife and no outside assistance.

My wife and I have had conversations like this for over 30 years because I worked in law enforcement. Most agencies try to prepare families for worse case scenarios. We prayed for the best and trained for the worst.

[time2roll]

DW will have the coroner pick me up and make arrangement for local cremation. RV can go to the local dealer for an immediate cash price. Does not have to be a big thing. The whole white glove treatment is a bit overrated IMO. Life is for the living.

[wa8yxm]

I wish I could offer help beyond what I will post here but that was one of my needless (As it turns out) Concerns as well.. What would happen if I died on the road... My wife was not trainable when it comes to most of the RV systems (I tried) However she ended up dying first.

The best advice I can give is make sure both partners are able to do all that needs to be done. Dump/fill tanks. Hook up/unhook. Attach detach and drive.

IF that is not possible.. There are some services.
MASA (Medical Air Services or some such (not sure what the 2nd a is without lookingm Assoication perhaps) is the gold card I have. They will pack up and get the RV home (provide driver, Fuel, oil change if needed) also transport the mortal remains or the living disabled to funeral parlor/hospital (Whichever is more appropriate) near home.

I understand that FMCA which now accepts Trailer owners as well, offers a competing service but I know not details.

MASA, If you are alive but in need of an ambulance, also provides help getting TO the hospital if needed. be it air or ground transport they make sure you don't get dinged with a co-pay/overage

[Michelle_S]

There are two major Medical Emergency groups: MASA and SkyMed. GoodSam offers a similar plan but don't think it any where close to either.
Their moto is "We'll get you home". In the case of RVers they will hire a bonded transporter to get your rig home, and in the case of a death will make all the arrangements for transportation of the body.
Neither are cheap, but gives you peace of mind if and when that event occurs.

[TenOC]

A true story. Years ago (1983 ?) my wife and I were camping at a campground near Nashville Tennessee we noticed a very large (half-million dollar ?) motorhome for sale. We ask the campground host what was the story on this class A motorhome. He told us that the couple had recently retired from someplace up north, sold their home and bought this class A motorhome to travel full time for the rest of their life. The 1st trip was to Nashville. In Nashville the husband died of an unexpected heart attack. The widow was now face with a very expensive almost brand-new motorhome (that had depreciated considerable) that she could not drive in a town where she had no friends.

I do not know how the story ended.

[Second_Chance]

I have personal experience with this kind of situation from both sides of the fence: in the '70s, my late wife and I were camping in a National Park in Utah when I heard a commotion in the next campground circle. I went over and found an elderly woman (seemed very old to a 20-something at the time) wailing and yelling for help. Her husband was unresponsive on the floor of their Airstream. Being a registered nurse, I checked for a pulse and respirations (none present) and started CPR while the camp host radioed the park headquarters to get EMS on the way. It took EMS at least 20 minutes to get there. They took over CPR and I started an IV for them when they were unsuccessful twice. Long story short, the gentleman didn't survive. Rather quickly, other (more seasoned) campers rallied round and started organizing things to get the widow and her rig back home. Several of the ladies took the widow under their wings to provide emotional support while others were working out the logistics. It took a community.

Fast forward 30+ years and my beautiful wife died suddenly and unexpectedly - though not on a camping trip. I can tell you that I was in no shape to make any decisions and probably not safe to drive. I was a wreck. Friends and family stepping up and getting me through those dark times are the reason I survived. I could not have gotten myself and an RV home... and I was only in my mid-50s at the time.

I am remarried and, when my wife and I decided to go full-time, we joined FMCA for several reasons, chief among them is the FMCA Assist program. This is, basically, an insurance policy that provides medical evacuation/repatriation, emergency medical reunion, return of mortal remains, return of dependents, vehicle return, and several other benefits. This plan puts me much more at ease should anything happen to either one of us.

Rob